Monday, 2 April 2012

Let's see who you could have won

Paddington is out there somewhere (as I've mentioned numerous times already). I could go on like astupidly twee Google advert about what their life might have been like up until they arrive and how they won't have to go through any more of the stuff they've been through again, but that's not really my style. What I really want to know is who will they turn out to be. I don't mean what there name is, as such, but will their personality be like some child from off of the telly. Let's look at some possible scenarios.

South Park
Stan and Kyle are reasonable kids, normal and quite well balanced so they would be OK. Kenny would be a problem because of the speech thing (speech therapy is a long, drawn out process) and the snorkel jacket that seems to be grafted to his skin. Then, not forgetting the fact that he seems to die an awful lot which I think would contribute to some serious issues. However, you'd really hope that they'd be like Butters, though you'd always be worried they might end up as Eric Cartman. This is of course the worst-case scenario: a fat, selfish kid

Family Guy
Chris is a bit dumb, Meg a bit morose. Stewie would be fun, provided it was Stewie from the later series when he was more rounded and not trying to kill Lois. Could develop personality problems through things like time travel and occasional abandonment and being raised for large parts of his life by a dog that vaguely resembles Snoopy

The Simpsons
Bart might be a handful, but I could work with Lisa. I think her geekish tendencies would compliment my own. Maggie is too young to know what trouble might be geting stored up for her in later life

William Brown (from the Richmal Crompton Just William books)
This boy has clear attachment issues, probably due to parents who seem to hold the Victorian idea of kids being seen and not hurt and that he's best looked after by the servants. He'd be a nightmare

Kids on Coronation St and Eastenders
Children in soap operas almost invariably tend to be born on Christmas Day which means you could stand to save a good deal of cash in present buying. On the other hand, they often arise as a result of some sort of extra-marital affair/underage sex and one of their parents usually ending up to be a murederer or dead (or both). I'd be inclined to avoid adopting any child from Weatherfield or Albert Square on this basis

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